Communication is always going to be vital in every relationship if a couple wants to insure its success. Being able to express your needs, desires and thoughts to your partner is very important. It is also important that you are able to listen to those same things coming from your partner. If you cannot agree on some of these things, that’s when compromise enters the picture.
One of the biggest areas of miscommunication between couples is that of sex. There are many facets of this area that cause disagreements ranging from the frequency of encounters to the type of satisfaction provided. Women tend to be the worst offenders when it comes to not telling their men what they want in bed. Men, on the other hand, usually don’t have any issues with being vocal about whatever they want sexually.
The problem with women not being as open when it comes to sex probably started centuries ago when men were basically in charge of everything. Very few men ever thought about the importance of pleasing their girlfriends, wives or mistresses. They more or less took their pleasure and went about their business. Women weren’t encouraged to speak up because they weren’t even supposed to be interested in sex. It was a man’s pleasure and women were supposed to simply endure it. If a woman showed too much interest in sex, she was most likely considered to be a slut or a whore. On the other hand, it was to these very women that men ran to for the excitement that they didn’t elicit from their partners.
That’s not the case these days. Not only are women encouraged but they’re expected to enjoy quite an avid and healthy interest in having creative and lusty sex with their men. They’re not meant to pretend that they’ve had an orgasm or that they’re fully satisfied if that’s not the case. Yet, even in modern times, women still feel the need to protect the fragile ego of their men. That’s not the way to a successful relationship.
Couples that have been together happily for a long time swear by the importance of not only having sex, but also in talking about it. That doesn’t mean that you should talk it to death but, if there are some issues, those should be resolved and the only way to do that is through talking. Besides, if you talk things out beforehand, you can explain the rest through gentle direction during sex.
For instance, if a woman really wants a man to perform oral sex on her but he never seems to go in that direction; she should plainly tell him what she wants. Then, the next time they’re having sex, she can use movements to show him where he needs to go. The same is true for men when it comes to showing their partners something that they really like and want her to do. Working together in this manner makes sex and intimacy much more exciting for both partners.
Something to remember when talking to each other is that you need to keep any accusatory tones out of the conversation. When someone feels as if they’re being attacked in some way, they’re less likely to pay attention to what is being said to them. Instead, they go into full defense mode and refuse to hear the important things.
You’ll see that once your communication with each other is open, honest and caring, your relationship stands a much better chance of lasting a very long time; maybe even forever.
Use a Sex Agreement Form to help you bring up the topic of sex and open up the lines of communication.