Between diaper changes and nighttime feedings, some parents have a tough time finding time for each other. For some, the new babies sleep right through the night very soon after birth, but for the average parents, babies are often up at least twice per night.
After putting the children to bed there is almost always a lot of other things to do, including cleaning and preparing for the next day, or even just taking a good bath or getting some sleep. Where then, does time for making love come into the equation? Even if you’ve made an agreement as to sex, it can be difficult to find the time.
This is where we have to get creative, though we need to be good parents to our children, we also need to be good for ourselves. We need to do things that make us happy to keep some semblance of sanity in our lives and sex might be one of the few ways we give ourselves joy. Below lists a few ways you can make time for sex with your partner without disturbing your precious bundle.
- Hire a sitter or get a trusted relative to babysit – this one is clear, if you need some time off to reconnect and make love or just to enjoy each other’s company, this is a good option. Prepare for this time before the sitter comes so that you have all of that time together. Have dinner, surrounded by candlelight and roses and just embrace the present.
- After the baby goes to bed – if hiring a sitter or getting a relative to babysit doesn’t work out, then you can always wait until the baby goes to sleep at night to make time for yourselves. Many parents make their young children sleep in their bed with them and if you are one of those parents, sex might prove to be an issue. Never fear, there are many places and furniture besides the bed, just use your imagination and it will happen.
- Be sneaky – to spice things up, you don’t have to limit lovemaking to nights. When you are both home for the weekend and baby goes for a nap, you can sneak in a little lovemaking. When you have the grandparents over, pretend that you are both tired and are going for a nap. This is the type of creativity you will need when baby takes over the house, just remember to close the door behind you to prevent any surprises.
- Schedule time – if all else fails, then you will have to literally schedule time for each other. Many married couples make this type of sex agreement. Whether it is once or twice a week is up to you. If you are constantly distracted by chores and other things to do while home, go to a hotel, get out of the house. Leave the baby with someone you trust and go and have fun.
In order for a couple to maintain romance and intimacy after the arrival of a new baby, effort must be made to make and spend time together. Treat your relationship as you do your new baby, it is a constant job, it needs work and it should not be ignored. It will get easier as the baby gets older but for now you have to retain the intimacy and never forget to show your partner you love them. Use our Marriage Sex Contract to help.