A couple can be head over heels in love with each other but fail to ‘connect’ sexually anymore. Why is this? There are many factors that may be of issue here, these include, but are not limited to:
Lack of sexual chemistry – for some couples the chemistry is immediate, intense and long-lasting, but for others, that connection waivers over time and eventually becomes non-existent. The chemistry that they lack can be nurtured and brought back into play, and the fact that a couple is in love is good ground to work on.
Solution – Find out what caused your sexual connection to diminish. When did you first realize that there was something wrong in your relationship? Do you know what caused it? Write a list of all the things that your partner used to do that you enjoyed or liked.
Different sexual preferences – if both partners prefer different methods and ways to make love then there is going to be an issue. If one partner likes the traditional way to make love and the other likes to try adventurous and/or kinky stuff, you have to meet on common ground.
Solution – Discuss your sexual preferences, what do each of you like? Some compromise will have to come into play here, as you or your partner will have to at least try what the other likes. This is a perfect excuse to negotiate a marriage sex contract with all the conditions you want. For example, if either of you are into kinky sex but the other isn’t, set aside one time for them to try it. Just like a day pass, you can start off trying simple moves and then slowly introduce others for example light spanking on the bottom then progress to blind fold and feather.
Lack of honesty – Pretending that the sex is good when it isn’t is not only dishonest but is also an invisible nail in the coffin that is your relationship. If you want your relationship to work, you have to be honest with your partner because they won’t know that something is wrong, so they also won’t know that it needs to be fixed.
Solution – Persons tend to say “wow that was good!” a lot, even when it isn’t true. Do not be one of these persons. Tell your partner what you think the problem is and what he/she can do to improve it. Simple communication may be what you need to get on the road to sexual satisfaction.
Familiarity – Couples who have been together for years and years are more likely to fall into this category. You get so used to each other, that you no longer find it necessary to do the things that you normally did, such as telling your spouse you love them or complimenting their outfit or hair, etc.
Solution – You would be surprised to know the effect a simple compliment has. Sending your partner a text or email or even calling to say “hey honey, I love you and I can’t wait to see you when you get home” makes them feel loved, admired and desired.
We all have that need to feel connected and loved and with practice and dedication your relationship can get back to where it was. Do not give up!