Something that most couples might debate is the idea of scheduling sex. Granted, there’s a lot to be said about spontaneity when it comes to making love but, in this day and age of busy, driven families, it can mean that actually planning sex just might make things a lot more interesting in the long run. Now before you start to shake your head in denial of this idea, continue reading in order to see what all of the advantages are to knowing when you’re going to have sex next.
Evening up the Libido
An age old problem that seems to grow worse the longer a couple is together is that of one partner having a higher sex drive than the other one. Obviously, the partner with the lower libido tends to have control over the sexual part of the relationship, which really isn’t all that fair when you think about it. That’s why something needs to be done in order to level the playing field somewhat, so to speak.
Writing the day/s that you will be having sex will go a long way to helping take the tension out of something that is meant to be a celebration. The reason this works is because now both partners will know when sex is coming up for them. The partner with the higher sex drive can happily anticipate the upcoming interlude while the partner with the lower sex drive can prepare. There will be no arguing about one partner not being in the mood. Once the date is marked on the calendar, only the biggest of emergencies should be allowed to change it. If one person cancels there may need to be some kind of mutually agreed “compensation” in order to maintain the integrity of the contract. See the ideas put forth on our page “Breaching a Marriage Sex Contract”.
Making the Time
Another of the issues that couples find when they’re leading busy lives is that of timing for sex. By the time a busy day of work and/or taking care of kids has reached its end, all many couples want to do is to fall into bed but not to have sex. They just want to go to sleep so that they can recover from the day and be energized for the next one. In this type of situation, you just may need to plan when you’re going to take some much needed quality time for yourselves.
Even the planning of this can be a lot of fun! You can make a game of it! You can buy a special calendar that will only be used to document and plan your sexcapades. Then you can sit down together and choose a date for whatever you want that particular event to be like. Marking that day on the calendar is considered much like you’ve sealed the deal on things and will not be allowing anything to get in the way of it. Only the direst of emergencies should be allowed to change the sexy plans made for that day. The rule should be that whatever day you choose and whatever plans you make are set in stone, for the most part, and cannot be re-arranged.
Just Have Fun!
Scheduling sex doesn’t have to be rigid and strict. It also doesn’t mean that you cannot enjoy those spontaneous moments for quickies that come around. All viable opportunities for sex should be grabbed and delighted in the taking. The point behind scheduling sex is to make sure that this isn’t a part of life that gets put on the back burner due to the many obligations, responsibilities and stresses that may be present in a daily existence. You should always enjoy and take great pleasure in the joys that a physical encounter can present you with on a regular basis.
Don’t ever let things get to the point where sex is the very last consideration. In spite of what you may have heard, sex is very important to the overall connection between partners. Once it is a dead issue, it is quite possible that the relationship may end up also dying. That isn’t something that should ever be allowed to happen. Sex is fun. Sex feels good. Why would anyone want to deny himself or herself such gratification? It simply doesn’t make sense.
So if your life happens to be a roller coaster of one thing after another; sign a marriage sex contract and go out and buy that special calendar. Sit down together and choose your very first date for scheduled sex. Then do some little things along the way to amp the anticipation. Make it fun! You’ll both be amazed at just how much this will strengthen the connection you have with each other.