Some people may not think that actually having a casual sex agreement sounds like fun. It seems so official, documented, and even foreboding. A lot of people will go into something like this thinking that it will seem restrictive and stuffy; having some document tell them what will happen with their sex life. But the first thing you need to consider is at least the casual sex agreement is stating that things will not get serious. Automatically someone will assume that these agreements are only for people in their 20’s; college age and carefree. Because this is the age in which most people who are having sex are a bit worried about keeping things light, and not getting serious. After other life events like divorce or death in the family however; it’s another instance where a casual agreement could be used.
As we have talked about in other articles, there are sometimes situations where a couple may become sexually involved with each other after their friends were. As in, basically sleeping with your friend’s ex! These types of scenarios would be good ones to have casual sex agreements, because you may even be keeping the relationship a secret, let alone want to get seriously involved. To most people these days, seriously involved means perhaps meeting the parents, maybe moving in together; and basically being there for each other for emotional things other than sex. One way that people keep things light is by not having the other stay over at night, and just having daytime or early evening sex encounters. If you live farther away or work a different shift, then the staying over at night may occur right away.
For extremely liberal minded folks, part of the fun of a casual sex agreement can be that most of the sample ones we have seen on the internet involve allowing third parties, or other partners. If you are really in the “fun zone”, you can include other women or men. A lot of folks think that this is harmful; but in the right context, it can broaden your sexual horizons. For example, a couple can have another woman with them that will really show the guy how to give the woman great oral sex, something that all women truly crave; and what some women need to get an orgasm. If you have another woman in the room for a threesome, and you are the guy involved, you may really start to feel more comfortable with yourself and it can lead you to better performance. Being naked in front of one woman is one thing; but in front of two is another. Doing things like this could really boost your confidence for the future; unless your body is picture perfect, we all have some flaws.
Another reason why the casual sex agreement could really provide some fun is if you are someone who travels a lot for work. Even though as some say, it’s just a piece of paper, you are truly allowed to be with others in many casual agreements. If you are stranded in the Chicago O’Hare airport’s Marriott Hotel during a snowstorm, you may not really feel like adhering to a commitment when you are in the bar and approached by a lonely stewardess. Many people think that lately, people are not really hooking up on business trips anymore with others they hardly know. But a few random surveys and internet data show us just the opposite. Once you get a certain kind of individual away from home, you have to understand that they can truly get away with whatever they want!
Part of what drives people mad and to depression in relationships is when they realize they want something serious or stable, and the partner is playing games, or not really letting on if it ever will materialize into something serious. You could literally have more fun in a casual sex agreement even if you were the one that wanted a serious, deeper relationship. At least your mind would be at ease, knowing that within the situation right in front of you, there would not be any grab bag of surprises. If you are in a relationship where you are having a lot of sex, it could be good to just focus on that and how good it feels rather than waste energy dropping hints to the other that you may want to become excusive. There really are certain kinds of personalities that can just pop up at random times in one’s life and not get attached. You can always think of someone just like in the funny songs, “A human sex machine”!
If you are involved in a casual sex agreement, what some people do to keep it light is avoid holding hands, not even kiss as much; and just go straight for the sex. When people are asked in articles and on the web what led to them to accidentally getting attached, it was all about the void in life. If you are pacing around your apartment drinking a beer, sometimes you can’t wait for your casual sex partner to get there. Then all of a sudden if they stay for a long time into the next day, the apartment gets smaller and you wish that they would leave. This is the worst dilemma ever; the bittersweet sensation of not truly knowing how much time together is enough. The early stages of a dating relationship are the best to avoid this, when it happens and you don’t know how often you want to be around them, perhaps that is the best time to initiate the casual sex agreement! Remember, these documents may not protect you much in court, but they spell out that you are just having a good time, and for now; not much more.