We have all heard the different sorts of complaints involving condoms; and the jokes as well. There are all sorts of practical reasons to use them, and definitely all sorts of times to bring it up. The use of condoms has two main purposes: to prevent STD’s, and unwanted pregnancy. There are a lot of folks out there that will still use condoms when a woman is on the birth control pill, because there are some urban legends out there that still go around related to the confusions of sex. There ARE women who get pregnant even when they think they are not ovulating that day; it most definitely happens. For that reason, there are women who are not worried about using condoms OR the birth control bill during these times.
There are online applications to use, things like “fertility finders” that supposedly let a woman know when they will and won’t be ovulating. The thing that is so important to know when having sex is that there are circumstances where not ovulating, using the pill, and pulling out even all three do not prevent pregnancy. There are some men who just have incredibly active and potent sperm! And so that literal wrapping or “raincoat” effect of a good latex condom is necessary to block that sperm. One very critical time to tell your guy when to wear a condom is for the issue of unwanted pregnancy. Yes, if you are on the pill it is effective perhaps to “pull out” but if you are using the birth control AND condoms, you are greatly decreasing that risk of an unwanted pregnancy. Sadly enough, it is still one of the great tragedies of these times, and many a life has been turned upside down with an early in life or otherwise unwanted pregnancy.
One of the oldest rules of thumb in the dating and hookup scene is that a time for a woman to ask a guy when to wear a condom is in the beginning of the relationship, when she feels she just doesn’t know him yet. A great way to bring it up is to included as a term in a casual sex agreement. While this of course is better than not asking at all, there are some other very practical times to ask a man to wear one. Even if you are in a small town, you would be very, very surprised at how quickly and frequently diseases are picked up. If you have not seen a man for awhile, for example if your relationship was temporarily on the outs and he was back a few months later. Many women will feel that this is awkward to ask a man to wear a condom; but you know, it may not be as awkward as a visit to the doctor’s office for an STD! Of course, it should be added here that condoms will not prevent the spread of everything under the sun.
If a man refuses, it is your choice what exactly to do, but you really have to think of yourself too even when you are desperately horny. Another thing that happens frequently in our liberal sex society is women sleeping with bisexual men. Treading lightly here, we are simply going to advise that this is another good time for a condom. No, this does not mean that we think that men sleeping with men are somehow going to get diseases quicker, and no, it is not just about HIV. But understandably this adds another dimension of concern, and you are not in a mood to play privy to favorites here, again, just protect yourself.
If you happen to know someone uses needles and heavy drugs, by all means proceed with caution. Many people these days use pills and stray away from needles, but this can be dangerous. You really have to be assertive in this department. The best thing to say is “For the benefit of both of us, would you mind putting this on?” What is the worst that can happen? Hopefully a rational and caring man will understand your request in the name of safety and precaution. Condoms may seem old fashioned to some, but that barrier for the sperm is fairly important in pregnancy for one. Sorry to have you showering with the raincoat again; we just want you to be safe out there!