After being together for years, we sometimes lose the spark we loved and enjoyed in the early stages of a relationship. Many times this is something that can be repaired by just taking the time to focus on each other and actively doing all it takes to get it back.

The act of being intimate isn’t only about having sex, though it is a big part of every relationship, you should also practice other ways of being intimate. This includes kissing, cuddling and just plain enjoying each other’s company.

For the couple whose life has become focused on everything except your sexual intimacy, try going on a vacation together. No friends, no family, kids, cell phone or internet connection. Going to a hotel will give you less physical work and provides you with more time to focus on your intimacy.

  • Making love in a bath with rose petalsBook a suite or junior suite if you can afford it and when you arrive the first thing you need to do is take a shower together or go to the beach/pool. Touching your naked skin together without actually making love is a sure way to heighten intimacy. Play in the water, hug and kiss and just have fun.
  • Get a couples massage. For many people a massage, whether sensual or not, is a sure fire way to turn them on. Get your massages side by side, hold each other’s hands at some point and relax and enjoy the experience. Remember what is being done to you so that you will be able to do a more sensuous version to your spouse.
  • Some hotels have areas where you can actually prepare your own meal, if your hotel doesn’t provide this then talk over lunch/dinner.  Talk about old times, what you did when you just met and tell your partner how much you love them and what they mean to you. These set the mood for the actual lovemaking that is to come, it is mental stimulation.

Now to the Lovemaking– one of you should take the initiative and put everything into place while out of your room for the above-mentioned activities. Get a hotel staff to set to set it up while you are away.


  • Candles
  • Bubble bath
  • Rose petals
  • Dessert
  • Massage oil
  • Romantic Music


  • Have a bath running on your return to the room.
  • Make sure the entire suite is filled with candles (just don’t burn the place down).
  • Have rose petals scattered on the bed.
  • Soft, romantic music should be playing in the background.
  • Feed each other dessert – let it be cake or chocolate covered strawberries.
  • Take it to the bedroom and one of you give the other a massage. Remove all clothing and apply the massage oil and gently and sensuously massage your partner. You are not to do a deep tissue massage, just one to get them relaxed and in the mood.
  • The next step is lovemaking – do this on a deeper level. Don’t just have sex, but make love to each other.
  • After lovemaking go in the bath together. Lounge in the bathtub for a while and just cuddle and relax.
  • Think only of this moment, of your lover and clear your mind of everything else.
  • Stay in tune with each other and go to bed in each other’s arms after.

This method is an amazing way to relight a flame that once burned brightly. Love each other and show it in everything you do and you will get back to that place of excitement.

Use our sex recipes in conjunction with your Marriage Sex Contract to spice up your sex life and maintain intimacy within your relationship.